Wednesday, 23 April 2014
Palestinian Nobleman Slaughters British Wildlife.
A controversial Palestinian nobleman has come under fire from all directions after an altercation on Friday night.
According to eyewitness reports, the man "Entered ye taverne last Frigsday nighte, strange of garbe and foreign of tunge." Calling himself Georgios in the manner of his Greek parents, he was received with suspicion until, in the words of one onlooker "a great wingéd serpente was espied" nearby.
Georgios was then seen to mount his horse and charge off to kill the animal, possibly the only one of its kind in England.
Sir Nigel de Farage, a French nobleman masquerading as an English peasant to curry favour with the serfs, was suitably outraged. "How dare he taketh work from our own noble dragon slayers?" said de Farage, pretending to enjoy his mead. "He robbeth the bread from their mouthes! Such like as he cometh only to take our jobs and dally with our wenches!"
In spite of Lord de Farage's outrage, no English dragon slayers who may have potentially been deprived of work could be found in any tome of the Yellowed Pages, or indeed reached for comment via raven or cryer.
Georgios himself has said that he was attempting to defend the locals from a dangerous dragon and spread the word of the Lord God, but this only led to more outrage from the D.D.L (Druids Defence League). A spokesman was reached, and quoth he:
"Mark ye my words, like, if alloweth we such foreign behaviour, yeah?, then before two score of years hath passed, right?, under the strange and fearful rule of Christianity shall we be, innit? Allowed only one wyfe and she forced to wear clothes at that!"
Georgios has since disappeared, perhaps back to the foreign lands of his birth, or to Muslim countries where he is revered, but already a groundswell of support has been created to have him burned in effigy to protect the heritage and customs of "real English people."
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