Reviews: The Clifton Suspension Bridge.

[Apparently, Trip Advisor allows you to review some pretty arbitrary stuff.]


 "Clifton Suspension Bridge offers an excellent means of traversing the Clifton Gorge without the use of jet-packs or winged horses. As my wife is allergic to horses, and with the price of petrol - ironically - skyrocketing, this proved an excellent and effective service. Five stars." -Mr. Smith.


 "My wife and I planned a romantic fourteen seconds of plumetting, screaming, to our deaths, and found this rudely interrupted by the Clifton Suspension Bridge. We charged, naked and sobbing, towards the precipice, only to be conveyed unurt and quite embarassd to the opposite bank via this inconvenient eyesore. I will NOT be returning." -Mr. Sue S. Sydall.


"Although impressive for its history and architecture, I have noticed a slightly disappointing lack of goats on an otherwise excellent edifice." -A. Troll


 "A scenic and photogenic place to stare with brooding, steely expression at the city below as I listen to the menacing pulse of the night, but taxi access is shit and it's REALLY hard to get down from the plinths." -Batman, via mobile.


 "My experiences on this bridge have been decidedly up and down." -Dave's Travelling Bungee Troupe.



 "It has ruined a business that has been in my family for generations. I'm heartbroken." -Joe's Catapult Travel Co.


 "I haven't heard from Joe in fucking ages..." -Jim-Bob's Trampoline Landing and Big Soft Mattress Emporium


 "I think I'm lost..." -Robert Kincaid, photographer.


 "It's much windier and involves more running-people-over than the usual type of bridge. Also, I dropped some of my cards over the side." -John Collinson (Deceased)


 "It's fucking midnight and I'm still awake writing this utter shit. I'm too lazy to go and turn off the TV even thought it's 'The Lake House.'" -Luke Haines, just now.