Sgt. Fury,
It is with great sadness that I must relieve you of all duties pending enquiry, effective immediately.
It's not that you haven't performed great services for our country; it's just that the way you performed them has left many asking questions.
Your unit, the so-called "Howling Commandos", always raised eyebrows over its choice of motif. The 119th battalion has had enormous success with their flagship unit, "Sgt. Dormer and the Quiet, Stealthy Fuckers," who have managed to inflict enormous damages on enemy encampments. By contrast, your squad's bizarre insistence on howling has lead you to blow four seperate stealth missions in the past year alone, not to mention waking everyone in camp every time you leave for a dawn raid.
The constant caterwauling of your men also tends to draw fire on your position in all but the loudest of engagements. It was only serendipity that prevented your unit getting slaughtered wholesale in last month's battle at the owl sanctuary.
This is not to say mother nature looks too kindly on your antics. Your infamous training mission to Alaska resulted in your men being unaware that they were deep in wolf country until three new recruits were eaten and a further four were violently sodomized by aroused lupines. I'm sure I don't need to remind you.
As such, we have no choice but to remove you from active duty.
On a personal note, perhaps you could re-train in stealth and perhaps change jobs? I hear S.H.I.E.L.D are looking for people.
Just don't fuck up over there. I hear they sometimes have people vanish and replaced with a doppleganger who looks nothing like the original guy. Creepy.
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